The Green Milk Christmas Party

Having broken the hearts of every single Londoner, Green Milk have been away in the hills thinking about what they did, thinking about the pain they caused you. Having spent their days flagellating each other from dawn to dusk for 6 months, Robin finally plucked up the courage to ask:

“Hey, Phil, so I’ve been thinking. Is all this whipping each other and kissing on the lips and arse really going to help us?”

“What are you talking about? Aren’t you feeling more clean?”

“Well, yeah I am. That bleach you keep pouring on me is making my skin really clean, but…”

“BUT WHAT?!”

“But… And look, don’t take it the wrong way… I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and maybe we could stop pouring bleach on each other and using whips and kissing and maybe get back to running comedy nights?”

Phil, pouring bleach on his whip and lips: “Is that what you want? To run another night and stop paying rent on this cottage?”

Robin, swelling with courage, a tear welling in the corner of his eye and his fists clenched, “yes, that’s what I want.”
“Alright.”

And just like that they snapped out of their fever dream. Merging their unique and incredible imaginations (much more imaginative than most people’s), they have combined the idea of ‘Christ-Mass’ with a ‘Par-tee’ to come up with what they’re calling a ‘Christmas Party’. What that means, only they know.

But here’s what we know (taken from what they have called ‘The New Manifesto for Making People Suckas):

• There will be drink.
• There will be comedians.
• There will be games.
• There will be prizes.
• There will be laughs.
• There may be one crying drunk girl who won’t shut up.

All proceeds from the night will go to the charity CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably), which is dedicated to preventing male suicide, the single biggest killer of men under 45 in the UK. This is a subject that sadly isn’t spoken about nearly enough, and something close to their hearts.