Mark Kermode

Mark Kermode recounts his utterly foolhardy attempts to fulfil his dreams of becoming a pop star, from building an electric guitar from scratch while at school, to playing tea-chest bass on the kids TV show 'Utterly Brilliant', to becoming the musical director of a major TV show - all without ever learning to read music.

This will be a hilarious evening in which the film critic recalls falling in love with Slade as a teenager, forming his first proper band, and recording an album at Sun Studio as an ageing old ted.

Warning: there may be musical interludes. Or not.