Aladdin, Rub My Lamp - The Adult Panto

Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess who lived in Old Peking. Her father the Emperor wanted her to marry a rich man, but her needs were a bit more demanding, if you catch the drift.

Aladdin was a poor washerwoman’s son who lived with his mother Widow Wankey in, and this is honestly not going to come as a surprise, a laundry.

He’s a bit short of experience in the whole bedroom gymnastics department too. If only Aladdin can get rich enough to build a palace for the Princess, an erection like that is bound to win her over.

The Evil Abanazar is a grumpy old sod who is set on buggering up everyone’s day just for laughs and giggles. He’s more power crazed than Putin, but not such a homophobic git.

Anyway, there’s a couple of genies, a cave, more gold than a Mr T lookalike competition, and a lamp that gets rubbed more times than the number of Scottish Labour votes.