Sean Rowley

London's hottest social ping-pong club Bounce has revealed plans for an Anti Valentines Party - where the day’s most cringe worthy clichés have been banned for one night only.

Couple's seeking a night of candle-lit schmaltz should seek other entertainment options on Thursday 14th February as Bounce’s bosses have drawn up a list of prohibited items and outlawed behaviour including:

1. Red roses

2. Sharing of pudding

3. Interlocking arms while drinking cocktails

4. Slow dancing

5. Use of pet names ‘sweet cheeks’, ‘angel cakes’ & ‘hunny bunny’

6. Hand holding across the table

Valentines offenders will find that their bill will have A.V.A.T (Anti Valentines Added Tax) of 100% added to their bill.

There will be live entertainment and cool games including a ‘Smash Your Ex’ for anyone with anger issues over a past lover. Other tournaments taking place throughout the night will include Single and Proud (round the table madness) and Cupid’s Day Off which will see the work experience version of Cupid pair up mismatched guests will be for doubles action on the tables.

To stop any awkward slow dancing moments, DJ Sean Rowley will be pumping out fast paced, high energy tunes to dance your sexy single selves around the club. With a night like this on offer, your loved up friends will be wishing they had something as exciting to chat about in the office on Friday.